Hello fellow toads,
Happy Toad Tuesday!
Got your little beverage in hand? No worries, you can grab it now. Iβll wait.
Okay. Ready? Letβs go.
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First, Iβm having a sticker and stationery stash clean-out sale this week, so please email, text, message me on Tumblr, or DM me on IG if you want in on this action! I have kind of a hoard and am willing to make a deal if you buy a bunch, too.
If you end up getting a DENSA sticker for your car, it pairs perfectly with this gem from Spellcast Studios on Etsy. I love watching people read the back of my Prius when Iβm stuck in traffic! I also think I should have a free pass to get out of any tickets and penalties because I have warned everyone who can read about my shortcomings.
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Monster Flavor of the Week
Our Monster Flavor of the Week is πUltra Strawberry Dreamsπ, recommended by Friend of the Toad Harli.
By recommended, I mean that she said it had kind of a nothing taste and we both thought the can was cuteβwhich it is! Frankly, she couldβve said it was rancid and that can still woulda reeled me in.
I also have a big strawberry tattoo and am currently wearing strawberry cake earrings, so I miiiight be especially susceptible to this flavorβs charms.ππ°
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Hello, Kitty
You may have already noticed that Iβm in the midst of a Sanrio phase if you read the Trinket Trove issue. Well, it ainβt stopping anytime soon, so buckle up!
Hello Kitty and the entire Sanrio pantheon are fascinating to me. Their initial backstory makes senseβa company offering everyday products started putting cute patterns and characters on them to add to their appeal and boost sales. Okay, Iβm following.
Somehow, this spiraled into every possible type of merch, pretty much any collaboration you could dream of (plus bootlegs of anything thatβs not offered officially), and over 400 characters with odd lore.
Now, these characters did not need lore. Hello Kitty is cute enough to stand aloneβand indeed, many people likely donβt know a single scrap of extraneous info about her.
But Sanrio, they provided the lore, and they provided it for ~us~!
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First, thereβs Hello Kitty herself.
Kitty, perhaps surprisingly, is a Scorpio with a canonical birthday of November 1. She was designed by Yuko Shimizu, first appearing on a coin purse in 1974. Sheβs evidently named after Aliceβs cat in Alice in Wonderland.
(This revelation leads me towards a wormhole I dive into discover just why Alice in Wonderland looms so seemingly large in Japanese pop culture. Why is there a Haruhi in Wonderland episode of Host Club? Why do J-fashion brands so often offer Alice-themed prints? I will investigate later. Back to the cat for now.)
Kitty also has a last name. Did you know? Can you guess what it is?
White. Kitty White. Just like the Wild and Wonderful Whites! I wonder if Jesco and co. are any relation? Does Kitty know how to flatfoot dance? Has she seen Mothman?
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A quick sidebar: One time when we lived in Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas, we had a maintenance man who was actually one of the Wild and Wonderful Whites. He told some stories about drug running and flatfoot dancing and the time he fought a monkey, which came up because he had a tattoo of the monkey to commemorate the occasion. The monkey evidently kicked his ass. Another time, we had a cable guy who told my mom that he was a βshaman of sortsβ and that life is just βa journey from point A to point Aβ. Ah, the puzzling wisdom of the men you let into your house to fix things!
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Anyways, Kitty White is a young British girl who lives with her family: Mama (aka Mary White), Papa (aka George White), her younger twin sister Mimmy, and her grandparents. She has a boyfriend whose full name is Daniel Starr; however, he is commonly known as Dear Daniel. He is a cat with the hair of Doug from Doug.
Her canonical height is βfive applesβ and her weight is βthree applesβ, her blood type is A, and she likes English, music, and art.
Hello Kitty has had beef with everyone from Miffy creator Dick Bruna to Thai police officers and members of the US Senateβand thatβs just whatβs listed on her wiki page! (Side note: If I was a Thai police officer, Iβd be late and park in the wrong spot at work every day.)
She also has both a record label and a stable of bishonen boys who each correspond with a Sanrio character. Her assigned boy is the ace striker of his soccer team and βa fan of Hello Kitty, who he refers to with respectβ. Ugh, we stan a respectful king!
Her collab with Nintendo for Animal Crossing: New Horizons was extremely cute, as well, and turned into probably my favorite part of the game. I love that the Pompompurin furniture has buttholes like the main pudding man himself. Why doesnβt any of my irl furniture have a butthole? Something to be disappointed about.
Kitty tends to have surges of popularity during which one can rarely escape her watchful eyes and mouthless face. Some of the biggest HK waves rose in the mid-70s and 2000s.
Oh, youβre wondering why sheβs mouthless? Well, a spokesperson from Sanrio said, per the Hello Kitty wiki, "without the mouth, it is easier for the person looking at Hello Kitty to project their feelings onto the character" and "the person can be happy or sad together with Hello Kittyβ.
It also makes it very easy for you to draw big voluptuous lips or vampire fangs on her if you have a Hello Kitty coloring book and thatβs what you fancy. An added bonus!
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I still fondly remember Kittyβs 90s and early 2000s omnipresence, which, for me, included several cartoons that we had on VHS and DVD. Hello Kittyβs Furry Tale Theater, anyone?
The legacy of these specials lives on in Hello Kitty and Friends Supercute Adventures, which is on YouTube now. I hadnβt actually seen much of it before, but it isβas you may have guessedβquite cute. However, unlike in older Sanrio series, Kitty does not have a mouth! She does talk, though, and she runs a cafe, so I assume she somehow eats. Perhaps telepathy and osmosis are involved.
My favorite episode so far is the one where she accidentally makes latte art of an anatomically accurate human heart.
Also, I would 1000% live in My Melodyβs house. I kiiiiiinda want to make her ruffly heart-shaped pillows for myselfβ¦
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Hello Kittyβs friends include popular characters like My Melody, Kuromi, Keroppi, Pompompurin, Cinnamoroll, and Badtz Maru, along with some real weirdos. Iβm personally a fan of Landry and Corocorokuririn, who you just donβt see much any more.
Some notable weirdos in the Sanrio canon who seem to be shockingly well-liked (at least according to the popularity poll) include:
π Charmmykitty, Hello Kittyβs pet cat, whose trademark is the necklace that holds the key to the ancient jewelry box that Hello Kitty found in the forest and who is close friends with Dear Danielβs hamster, Sugar
π Hagurumanstyle, who areβ¦teeth who support mental health and appear when people clench their teeth together to persevere and support their dreams
π Ichigoman, Hello Kittyβs superhero alter-ego who she transforms into by raising her strawberry-shaped cell phone aloft and shouting βPower to the Kittyβ
π Marshmallowmitainafuwafuwanyanko, who is a cat with a beautiful singing voice (boy soprano) and secret pockets on his tummy that hold marshmallows with strange powers
π MINNA NO TΔBΕ, who won first prize in a contest by singing "TΔBΕ Promises to do His Best" and whose blood type is a mystery
π Nya, Ni, Nyu, Nye, and Nyon, who are cat quintuplets and who I am absolutely convinced were pitched based on the popularity of Dionne Quintuplets merch
If you happen to have a Very Strong Opinion about the top cat and her friends, you can actually go vote in the official Sanrio popularity poll right now.
I got really overwhelmed and eventually tossed my hat in the ring for Landry. I mean, cβmon, heβs a raccoon who lives in a washtub and has frog friends! Thatβs cute as hell.
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Craving more Hello Kitty and friends in your life now? Lucky you, Sanrio has a section full of free stuff on their website! I also have some printable posters and extra junk, not for free but in the secret section of this issue. Wink!
Thank you, as always, for following along with my ole foolery. There are tons of ways to share this issue (or any specific bits you liked) on Substack now, so do spread the word of the toad if you get the urge.
I leave you with the sickest fact (?) I learned this week: Yuko Yamaguchi, the current illustrator of Hello Kitty, drinks an entire liter of milk a day, at least according to the Hello Kitty wiki. Truly sinister!
Well, hereβs my stop. Itβs time for me to go lift some weights and ready my body for Gamer Hours.
Iβll catch you all next Tuesday!
xox MM
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